Well, it sure has been awhile! I wish I could have kept up on this a littler better this month, but as I have said and I'm going to say it again, life kind of got in the way. Right now I am in week four of school and already I'm starting to feel like I am loosing my marbles. I just finished writing a paper that was a minimum of four pages, so not too bad. I ended up writing five and I guess I just felt like I still had some in me because I thought tonight would be a goodnight to write another post. Just a little recap on life, my part time position at the doctors office has no officially became a full time position, I'm still working at the salon a few times a month. As well as taking Math, English, and Nutrition Science, totaling in at 10 units. Boy, even writing that out is exhausting, imagine how I feel currently haha. This weekend will be full of catching up on Nutrition lectures, and assignments and preparing for my math exam Monday.
School and work in itself is a struggle but my personal life has been somewhat of a mess too the last few months so I'm starting to get that spinning in circles feeling again. They say, "God never give you more than you can handle" and sometimes I think he thinks I'm a boulder because Dear Lord. It never stops. But that's life I suppose, it never really does stop. It keeps going with or without you, so you either stay down and get left behind, or you get back up and keep pushing forward.
We're all fighting some kind of mental hurdles through out the day. Whether it's school, family, work, or a combination, we all have something going on. And I feel like we all get so caught up in what we're going through that sometimes we forget to stop and really take a look around at the people around us. They're all going through it too. That in itself just helps me find comfort. Not in the fact that other people are struggling, but in the fact that we are not alone in our struggles. It may feel like it at times, but even if you don't like to share you struggles just looking around and embracing the people around you and recognizing their struggles seems to help. At least for me it does. I called one of my best friends this morning because she has been having a string of bad luck. We often times joke that we're cursed because it seems to be one thing after the other for the both of us. One of us always calls, "You will not believe what just happened to me today!". Sometimes we cry about it, and sometimes we laugh to keep from crying because there's nothing we really can do about it. But we always end up saying something alone the lines of it all being in God's plan not ours by the end of our conversation.
I have never had so much equal comfort and frustration come out of any other phrase than that, "It's all in God's hands". Well I guess that's not true I also feel that way about the saying, "This too shall pass" but quite honestly they go hand in hand. Sometimes it is such a great relief to take that burden off of you and let it be in God's hands, and other times it just plain sucks because its not what you had planned. That brings to mind another similar quote I always like to tell myself, "We plan, and God laughs." Things very seldom turn out fully how we have them pictured in our heads. You think I would have learned this by now, but with my control freak nature it still drives me nuts. I find myself throwing temper tantrums like a toddler, "Damn it, this is not the way this was suppose to go!" Yea, okay Amanda when do things ever go the way you plan? The answer to that question is NEVER.
With life being as crazy as it is for me there is no way I can have concrete plans or ever begin to try and guess where I'm going to be in a year. So I'm trying to stop thinking about it and, "Put it in Gods hands". But I shall advise you, I am much better at giving advice than I am at taking my own. Right now I'm sitting up in bed in my old bedroom at my parents house, with Brielle snoring next to me, and I don't think I've been so at peace all day. So here's to the future I'm saying BRING IT.
No comments:
Post a Comment