Trust

Trust.

Such a small word, with such a big meaning. I trust you. I trust this. You have my trust. Can I trust you with this? I trust you with my life. To trust in something or someone is having blind faith in something that might fail you.

We're prone to failure since the dawn of time. It's why Jesus laid himself on the cross for us. Everyday we fail him, everyday we are granted faithful grace for our sin. But we're not perfect like Him, and when someone we put our faith in lets us down, its much harder to give that ever loving grace.

I found out something today about a person I once trusted. I always had a hunch in the back of my mind, but I chose to have faith and still believe I could trust this person. What do you do when the person, who at one point you thought you could trust your life with, turns out to be something entirely different? My first reaction, unfortunately, is always to be angry. I'm not so great at the touchy feely "you hurt my feelings". Today I was angry. No FURIOUS. How could someone hurt someone else they once loved so selfishly? I took a deep breath pushed it to the back of my mind and tried to brush it off.

I sit here tonight and I think about trust. But I'm also thinking a lot about grace. What this person did to me was unfair, and unkind, and so unlike the person I knew. But I have a choice, I can stew in the anger and the regret of how I should have trusted my gut and walked away sooner. Or I have choice number two, grace. I can choose to say, this persons actions has nothing to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with them. Getting your trust broken hurts like hell. But it's not your character that takes the hit. When someone breaks your trust its a direct reflection of their integrity, and what trust means to them.

I choose to no let other people actions dictate my reaction. I choose not to fire back out of anger, but to walk about in love. Extending the grace that was ever so freely give to me.

Life Gets in the Way

Well, it sure has been awhile! I wish I could have kept up on this a littler better this month, but as I have said and I'm going to say it again, life kind of got in the way. Right now I am in week four of school and already I'm starting to feel like I am loosing my marbles. I just finished writing a paper that was a minimum of  four pages, so not too bad. I ended up writing five and I guess I just felt like I still had some in me because I thought tonight would be a goodnight to write another post. Just a little recap on life, my part time position at the doctors office has no officially became a full time position, I'm still working at the salon a few times a month. As well as taking Math, English, and Nutrition  Science, totaling in at 10 units. Boy, even writing that out is exhausting, imagine how I feel currently haha. This weekend will be full of catching up on Nutrition lectures, and assignments and preparing for my math exam Monday.

School and work in itself is a struggle but my personal life has been somewhat of a mess too the last few months so I'm starting to get that spinning in circles feeling again. They say, "God never give you more than you can handle" and sometimes I think he thinks I'm a boulder because Dear Lord. It never stops. But that's life I suppose, it never really does stop. It keeps going with or without you, so you either stay down and get left behind, or you get back up and keep pushing forward.

We're all fighting some kind of mental hurdles through out the day. Whether it's school, family, work, or a combination, we all have something going on. And I feel like we all get so caught up in what we're going through that sometimes we forget to stop and really take a look around at the people around us. They're all going through it too. That in itself just helps me find comfort. Not in the fact that other people are struggling, but in the fact that we are not alone in our struggles. It may feel like it at times, but even if you don't like to share you struggles just looking around and embracing the people around you and recognizing their struggles seems to help. At least for me it does. I called one of my best friends this morning because she has been having a string of bad luck. We often times joke that we're cursed because it seems to be one thing after the other for the both of us. One of us always calls, "You will not believe what just happened to me today!". Sometimes we cry about it, and sometimes we laugh to keep from crying because there's nothing we really can do about it. But we always end up saying something alone the lines of it all being in God's plan not ours by the end of our conversation.

I have never had so much equal comfort and frustration come out of any other phrase than that, "It's all in God's hands". Well I guess that's not true I also feel that way about the saying, "This too shall pass" but quite honestly they go hand in hand. Sometimes it is such a great relief to take that burden off of you and let it be in God's hands, and other times it just plain sucks because its not what you had planned. That brings to mind another similar quote I always like to tell myself, "We plan, and God laughs." Things very seldom turn out fully how we have them pictured in our heads. You think I would have learned this by now, but with my control freak nature it still drives me nuts. I find myself throwing temper tantrums like a toddler, "Damn it, this is not the way this was suppose to go!" Yea, okay Amanda when do things ever go the way you plan? The answer to that question is NEVER.

With life being as crazy as it is for me there is no way I can have concrete plans or ever begin to try and guess where I'm going to be in a year. So I'm trying to stop thinking about it and, "Put it in Gods hands". But I shall advise you, I am much better at giving advice than I am at taking my own. Right now I'm sitting up in bed in my old bedroom at my parents house, with Brielle snoring next to me, and I don't think I've been so at peace all day. So here's to the future I'm saying BRING IT.

Is this the life you want to live?

It's that time again, beginning of the next semester of school. As of Monday I will be taking ten unit's, working full time at the doctors office, and a few days out of the month at the salon. All well taking care of Brielle and her needs of course. She's my number one priority and the main reason for all the madness. A flood of emotions are running through me right now. Fear, anxiety, worry, excitement, love, and pure joy. How blessed am I to be able to be of strong body and mind and be able to manage this crazy hectic schedule. Of course, having  an amazing, loving, and supportive group of family and friends help tremendously. Without them, truly, none of this would be possible.

Going back to school wasn't the easiest decision. First of all I had no idea in the world what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to make a difference, to feel fulfilled, but I just didn't know how. Something I was extremely interested in since I was a young adult was being a game warden. I grew up in a family that loves to hunt, and actually have a bow myself. Wildlife conservation, and hunting are a passion and a hobby for me. Although I was a little weary of turning another hobby into a career, ultimately it was my dad who talked me out of it. "Being a form of law enforcement, and a single mother probably isn't the best idea". Although it can be done, and I am sure there are plenty of single mothers that put on the uniform everyday, in the end I sided with my dad. It was a scary thought to think of Brielle not having both of her parents and it wasn't something I felt I could risk. But I have a great respect for the single parents that do, let me tell you. Fast forward a bit, I was starting to get really upset that I couldn't figure out what I wanted to be. I was wanting to find something I could be proud of, Brielle could be proud of, and I could wake up everyday feeling like I was truly making an impact in this world. I remember being really upset about it one day and being told by someone I care about, "Don't worry about it, you'll figure it out. You're a sheepdog". At the time I had no idea what the term "sheepdog" stood for so my response to that was, "huh?". "Sheepdog's are people who protect and take care of 'the sheep'. Unlike the wolf, who attacks the sheep."  This is common term to refer to LEO. But he, as a LEO,  meant it in a way to encourage me and I took it as a big compliment and still do.

One of my biggest passions in life is, children. I LOVE children and babies and would go to the ends of the earth to care for, protect and nurture as many children as possible. Honestly, once I'm a nurse, I would LOVE to foster to adopt a few children. There are so many that need loving homes. And being a mom is something that brings me the most joy in life. I've always had a mothering, nurturing personality. So when I had a dream about being a pediatric nurse, it was like God hit me in the face with it. Why, is this something I have never considered? I've always have had an interest in the medical field and health. It was almost like coming up for fresh air. I finally felt like I found where I was needed and where I belong.

I have to say, after finishing my MA program, pushing my self with school, working full time and raising my daughter, I feel so much pride in myself. What feels even more amazing is that my beautiful 5, going on 25, year old little monster, tells me all the time how proud of me she is. So this week will be filled with lots of organizing, cooking for the week, and scheduling every moment of my life. But I will love every moment of it because it's leading me where I want to be, and to the woman, I want to be.

If you feel like you're at a point in your life where you don't know where to go next, don't give. Spend sometime with yourself, and with God, and really try and find that missing puzzle piece. Only you have the power to change your life, and where you are going. If this isn't where you want to be and you're not proud of the person you are becoming, guess what? We've all been there at some point. Don't unpack and live there. Pick up your bags and take them where your soul is pulling you. Whether it's to a new career, or out of a crappy relationship, or a complete overhaul on how you're living your life, get up and LIVE your life. Find your passion. No one else is going to do it for you.

The Terrible, No Good, Mom

For the past two weeks, I have been a "terrible" mother in the eyes of my almost five year old little girl. You wanna know why I am a "terrible" mother. Here it goes; last week I wouldn't let her wear her favorite dress out of the bottom of the dirty hamper, and today it was because I don't let her eat Cheetos enough and I will not let her swim without a life-jacket when there's not an adult in the pool.

I think all parents can attest to the worrying of not being enough for their kids, not doing enough, and constantly feeling like they're failing them. I've yet to meet a perfect parent in my 25 years of age. Oddly enough hearing those things come out of my daughters mouth made me realize something. I'm not doing too bad as a parent. If all my kid has to complain about is, her lack of junk food in her diet and me trying to keep her hygienic and safe, I think its safe to say I'm doing an okay job. With that being said, I don't feel I'm am anywhere near done growing and improving with and for my child. Don't forget when you're parenting, your children aren't the only ones who are growing. Even after our parent's are done "raising" us there is always room for improvements.

For me, this has been something I've struggled with my entire life. I am always either way too harsh and critical with myself, or I completely shut down, shove my head in the sand and pray for it to go away. Lately I've been pushing myself really hard to change, but in retrospect, I am also trying to be more loving and forgiving to myself. I've struggled with anxiety and worrying about what the people I love think about me my entire life. There's something one of my favorite doctors used to say to me, "My cupith, has runith over".  When he would say this, he would  draw a little cup with a pipe dripping water into it. From there I always knew the speech that was going to come after. He's would draw the picture on the bed paper, look and me and say, "Amanda, where is all this water going to go when the cup is full". Then I would respond, "It's going to flow over the top Dr. Sam". Where he would then respond with, "How do we keep your cup from flowing over? We built a valve to let the water out before it comes pouring out of the top of cup". If you haven't caught on, the cup is you, the pipe is life, and the water is emotions and stress that come out of life and into you. When you don't release the stress in your life, you overflow. Overflow with anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, depression, or anything that is a direct result of you not taking care of yourself mentally, physically and emotional. So, where am I going with this and what does this have to do with being a parent.  Here's what is boils down to; If you don't take care of yourself, you will find yourself not meeting up to your expectations of being a good parent. Taking care of yourself, improving yourself, and growth are things that make you a better parent.

So what am I doing in efforts to be a better mother for myself, and Brielle? I have made a commitment to myself, to try and have 10% improvements everyday. This week my 10% was insuring I got Brielle back on her bedtime schedule, read her a bed time story every night, and got both of our things ready for the next day before I went to bed. It's only been a week and I already feel so much better about myself, and my life. This 10% theory is something I actually got in beauty college. I used to listen to interviews from John Paul Dejoria, all the time and this is something that really stuck with me. If you don't know anything about this man, I encourage you to look him up. He is one of the co-founders of John Paul Mitchell Systems and is an all around inspiring human being. He talks about when you have a goal in mind, or are just trying to grow, to strive to make little improvements everyday. Once you master those improvements, pick another way to improve by 10% and reach that goal. This is a perfect way for me to keep myself from getting discouraged, and feeling like a, "terrible, no good, mom". Some time's you will be set back in those goals and that's okay. Failure is a way to learn to readjust the approach.

Life is crazy, and beautiful. But don't get so caught up in the stress of it that you don't enjoy it. Be forgiving to yourself when you fall short of whats expected of you, and I promise you, you will be a happier person. And the greatest things about being a happy parent, is that happy parents equals happy children. Be kind to yourselves, friends. I promise you, you are doing just fine.

Spinning In Circles

When you were little did you ever just put your arms out and spin and spin and spin? 

Do you remember the way it felt after? You almost had that light headed feeling and things still felt like they were spinning and you stumbled around a little bit... I guess as an adult I just also described the feeling of being incredibly drunk ha ha. But spinning as a kid was much more enjoyable, then drunk adult spinning because that's usually accompanied by a hangover and maybe some vomiting. But back to literally spinning around as a child, I remember the feeling. Almost vividly. The rush you felt and how fun it was to feel like the world was going in circles around you. Now fast forward to having that feeling again, as an adult, but without the fun of intoxication. Just the rush of everyday life. The frantic making to do lists in your head, trying to make sure your child's taken care of, your bills are taken care of, your house, your car, and usually lastly yourself.

When did we get so busy?

Lately I have been feeling like the room is spinning, but I've lost the childhood feel to it. It doesn't feel fun, it feels overwhelming and at times down right terrifying. Maybe as adults that's why we get so run down. Instead off enjoying the rush of the spinning around us we let it consume us. We start freaking out and trying to make it stop by running in more circles, when in reality all we need to do is, slow down until we stop and let your perception catch back up to you.

I will restore you- Joel 2:25

I'm really trying to learn how to be restored lately. I get so overwhelmed in all the things I need to get done, all the things I have yet to get done, and all the things I want to accomplish, that I start to feel defeated. I feel like a straight up hot mess. I think we are all our own worse critics and I know I am mine. The low points for me are when I feel less like a mother. When I feel like I'm not giving Brielle all she needs. For example, today I welcomed those feelings in. She starts TK on Thursday and I had a huge lists of things I've been wanting to do for her and get done. One of those which was to get her in to bed early and get her on a schedule. Well here we are, two days before school starts, and I didn't get her dinner until almost 8pm and didn't get her to bed until almost 9:30. At about 9pm those overwhelming feelings of guilt and anxiety began to hit me. I was telling myself...Oh no, I've failed again. Here we are the week school starts, and between my new job, trying to get school set up for both me and her, and the salon, I've managed to fail her AGAIN. How in the world am I going to do this? I'm going to be that hot mess mom that the teachers and the other well put together moms judge because we're always rushing in at the last moment, and sometimes I let her win the argument about letting her wear her hair "curly" which is but Brielle's code for bedhead. 

And then I heard it...

My favorite noise in the world. Her gigantic belly laugh, as she sat on the sofa, her Doc McStuffin's plate in her lap, eating her favorite dinner pea's and pizza, watching Minions. It was right there when I stopped. I stopped spinning and I looked over at my little girl happy as can be, healthy, clothed, and fed. I am blessed.  In that moment I felt God has restored me. Maybe I am that hot mess mom. But you know what, I think I'm okay with that. I made her put her plate in the sink, which I'm not going to worry about until the morning, brush her teeth and pick out a bed time story. Tonight I felt more than ever, even though it was so late, I was not going to miss that bedtime story. Because I was absorbing the happiness of my child. I was being restored.

I think we can learn a lot from out children about how to be happy and fulfilled. There's something I always make sure to tell Brielle when she has failure and its "You'll do better next time". Tonight I'm taking my own advice, I have a ton of laundry to do, and the dishes in the sink, and things to set up for tomorrow. But it wont be done until the morning. Tonight I need to feel restored, I need some rest, some sleep and "I'll do better next time".

 

A Single Mothers Broken Heart

I honestly should be sleeping right now. Just a little recap on life; I started a second job at a doctors office in a neighboring town, so I will be working there Monday- Thursday 9am-4pm. On top of that right now the salon is super understaffed so I will also be helping out there 5pm-9pm a few times a week until I start school the end of August. To say the least I have a lot going on. I had planned on writing a little more frequently, but I can see life is going to get in the way at times. Tonight's post is going to be straight from the heart so bare with me. 

I've had a lot on my mind the last few days. I've been praying a lot and asking for guidance, but I'll be the first to admit when I do get guidance my rebel heart always wants to what if things to death, or even go in the opposite direction.

Luke 12:25-26

 25 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? 26 And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?

Easier said than done right? It's easy to find peace in His words but it doesn't necessarily make your worries go away. For me I don't think my biggest fears are tangible things. I know with hard work and determination eventually I will reach my work, and financial life goals. In that aspect I have always known God will provide. My biggest fear, is opening up my heart again. Heartache is hard. Moving on is hard. And I would never discredit how anyone feels, but I almost feel as a single parent, it makes in a million times harder because not only did you love this person, but your child fell in love with them. This person comes into your life and they just kind of fit. Something about having a daughter, and seeing the man you love fall in love with them just makes you fall so much deeper. But life happens, as it always does, and things sometimes just don't work out. It's no ones fault. If you're not the one you're not the one, and if you truly love the person as much as you say you do, you let go. Because all you want is for them to feel that fullness and the love that you felt with them. Regardless if it's with you or not. 

The hard part though, is rebuilding your family after that heartbreak. My daughter is fairly easy to explain things to. She has a very forgiving and kind heart. I explained to her that sometimes people fall in love, but they aren't who God intends us to spend our lives with. That sometimes people come into your life so you can help them grow, and they help you grow and teach you to be a better person, but we don't always get to end up with this person. She completely understood amazingly enough. Still though, she went through her own grieving period for the relationship. I quickly was reminded that I wasn't the only one who suffered loss. She cried for him. A lot. She missed him and had a hard time understanding if we were still friends and he still loved her why he doesn't visit like he used to. It was hard on all three of us. I should probably mention what makes things ten times worse is her biological dad hasn't been in her life at all for a year, and wasn't really a strong presence over the past two. Watching her go through the same pain and the grief she went through, made my grieving process so much more painful. No one wants to see their child hurt.

The last 5 months of our lives, has been a major transitioning period. Learning to be just me and her again and finally getting back on a normal routine after a period of feelings stuck in a haze of not knowing what the future will now hold for us. Dating sucks. It sucks bad. I have this intense fear of getting too close to someone again and bring them around my child to have us both end up heart broken. So I'm taking some time for myself to try and figure out how or if I'm going to ever get pasted that fear. I try to tell myself, God has a plan, and most days I find peace in that. But to be quite honest, his plan has scared me to death so far. This post way probably one of the hardest most honest things I've ever written. I guess my purpose of this post is just to tell all the single mothers out there, it's hard. I know it's hard. But we will get through this, and our children will see the love and respect we've demanded for ourselves and hopefully learn to demand the love and respect they deserve from our struggles. Love is the most important thing in the world. And sometimes opening yourself back up to the idea of letting someone else love you again, is the scariest thing in the world. But God loves you so much that He will never let you or your child suffer in vain. Proverbs 4:23 "Guard your heart above all else. for it determines the course of your life". Walk in faith and you will find your way. Goodnight everyone. 

A little background on me

Hello blogging world!

  My name is Amanda Wells. I'm a California girl born and raised, raising my 4 year old little girl Brielle in a sleepy little country town in the central valley. I'm a woman of faith that has a deep love for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I love to help people. It's one of the main reason I want to become a nurse, but I've been struggling lately with trying to live with more purpose on the way to my journey becoming a nurse. And one day it just hit me, why not write a blog. We're all looking for someone who understands walking through the fire. Someone who can relate to things we go through, and things we experience in life. So the way I see it is if my "crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life" can help someone get through theirs I will be happy! And yes, I did just quote Darryl Worley's "Awful beautiful Life" haha. I'll do that. A lot. With songs, movies, you name it, when a quote fits I sticks! Funny fact, that's actually how I came up with the name of my blog. I was looking for something to word play off of a well and I started singing Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, "I'm Wishing". It's something that happens quite often with my brain, and I don't know if that has anything to do with the fact that my strongest multiple intelligence happens to be musical. Anytime I'm deep thought about something and there's a phrase or a word I think of or hear that makes me bust out in song in my head, and sometimes out loud. Sometimes with people present. I get some pretty odd looks if you don't know me well! Anyway I am getting super side tracked here. So a bit about myself and my life, my daughter and I moved to the town we are in almost two years ago now with one of my best friends Aricka. I grew up in the area so it's not terribly new to me. The town I grew up in was very small and I loved the small town feeling and how everyone knew each other, but it quite frankly is not the safest place to live. I had always said the town I live in now would be the only town I would ever live in in this valley if I had to stay, so! Here I am! I have to be honest, if I could,I'd move to Texas in a heartbeat. It's my favorite state and my person, one of my very best friends Leslie, lives there. When I visited I absolutely fell in love with the state. Sadly, my dad whom I am extremely closed to, threatened to never speak to me again if I moved his grand daughter away from him. Pretty sure that was a bit dramatic, considering when I lived in North Carolina at 19-21 he called me EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. If we went over 12 hours without speaking he went into full blown panic mode. But I caught the drift, he'd be heart broken. So would my mother, and honestly I couldn't be doing this by myself without their support. Right now, I'm a hairdresser in town the town my parents live in, and looking for a job at a doctors office so I can use this medical assisting cert I just spent the last 7 months working on. I also am working on my general ed and prerequisites to get into nursing school. But that I'll get more into later on another day. But to put it simply I work full time, go to school full time and am a full time single mommy. I am so grateful for the support I have from my wonderful parents, and true friends.  It really does take a village to raise a child and I thank the Lord every single day for my village. If I didn't have as much love and support as I do from my family and friends around me I doubt I would have been able to make it this far. I have a good handle of really close friends, and I'm sure as I continue writing you'll get to meet each and everyone of them. So that's just a little bit about me and I hope you enjoy this journey with me. I also want to start a Vlog on youtube and do some video's about my thoughts about life and God, and just getting through this crazy things we call life one day at a time.

Thanks for reading!

Brielle and I in Tahoe September 2015

All You Need is Love

So originally, when I had first wanted to start this blog, I had a post that was just general information about me that I wanted to be my first post. Makes since right? Well anyway, life got in the way and I just never got around to posting it. I finished it up tonight and I will be posting it soon, maybe tomorrow. But tonight, as I drove my daughter home from my parents house I started thinking about my day and the things I had talked about with a few close friends, and all the unfortunate dark things that are going on in the world and I kind of had a revelation.

Everyone is aware of the hate and the death that has been plaguing the country, well really the world, I feel like most prevalent within the last year. Black Live Matter, All Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter. I'm not here to tell you where I stand or what side "I'm on" because the truth of the matter is I'm not on any side in particular. I'm on the side of Love. Love Matters. That is all that matters. Do you hear me? I will repeat it again LOVE is all that matters. I am not here to belittle your feels or to say you are wrong because honestly, what ever you are feeling, they are your feelings and they are valid. What it comes down to for me is this, as a Christian even if you are not one, we all have a symbolic "cross" to bare like our Savior did for us. The cross you might bare is, you grew up in a corrupt inner city and never felt like you were give equal opportunity to excel because of you economical situation or the color of your skin. Your cross may make you worry about your own children and if they will be able to break the cycle or if they will be stuck in the same situation as you for the rest of their lives, despite you giving them every opportunity you know how. That is YOUR cross to bare. I will not tell you it's not as heavy as mine, I will not tell you to suck it up, I will not tell you it doesn't matter. Because it is the cross that you bare and I promise to never tell you otherwise. The cross you might bare is a badge. A badge that you put on everyday because all you've ever wanted to do since you where a little boy or girl was protect the ones you love. The cross you bare may feel at times so heavy from the pain of a lost brother or sister in the line of duty, or when a random person spits on you and calls you a pig for doing your job the best you know how. The cross you bare could feel so heavy some nights because you don't know if that's the last time you will read your daughter her favorite bedtime story. Your cross is just as EQUALLY important and heavy to bare. I will not tell you it's not heavy, I will not judge you by the cross you bare. You see some of us may feel at times, our crosses are a little heavier to carry than others, but everybody's pain is relevant and valid to them. But the weight of those crosses combined will never amount to the weight of that cross Jesus bared for us simply because he loved each and everyone of us, whether we know him or not, unconditionally.

We all act out of anger, hurt and selfishness at times. I will be the first to admit that sometimes I am quick to those feelings. And the truth is sometimes you need a little selfish times. It's wrong yes, but that is what conviction is for, to set us right. The other people in our lives and in our communities will have the same issues, and you will have to bare these things too. Learn to forgive those who speak out of anger and hurt. Learn how to be compassionate, and give grace even if you feel it isn't deserve or warranted. Simple because Christ gave it to you. Before you were even born, and before you had ever made a mistake in your life.

So when you read something that makes you angry, or you feel like arguing "your side", take a deep breath and try to respond with grace and compassion for the other person's cross. Because after all, know matter what "side" you're on, we're all on the same side to Christ. Brothers and Sisters. I think if we start to act like them and start treating each other with LOVE first. We might just be able to be the light in the darkness. I leave you tonight with my favorite verse of all time.

1 Corinthians 13New Living Translation (NLT)

13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.